@hannibal666

It’s not the end of the world, but it is about time to circle the wagons.

BP Public Relations v1.0

Location: Spilling everywhere
Bio: The Best PR Team that money can buy
Web: http://www.bp.com
Category: Media, Comedy

#FF @BPBlobalPR +1 is spammy good fun. But now the Pickledicks will chase every ambulance or corporate fuck up for a shot at fame and glory.

#commentario

@bpTerry sent me out to get more beer. And I was like I’ll have to grab a plane. He was like no problem. Cynthia Caroll put the nix on that.

That’s really frustrating. After all, if Board Member was doing her job in the first place, I guess we wouldn’t be having to count all the sick, sweet, squeaky Dolphins that are making shark snack.

OH #bpcares

Ariaa Jaeger v1.2

Location: Colorado Spring, Colorado
Bio: Spiritual Strategist, Executive Life Coach, Professional Intuitive
Web: http://ariaa.com
Category: Social Media, Psychic, Happy People

#FF @AriaaJaeger +1 knows things. Before they happen. Sometimes. More importantly, she encourages people to live life fully, joyfully.

#commentario

Ariaa says that BPs top kill is not just going to fail. It’s may just top kill the zooplankton.

@bpTerry hopes Ariaa’s pulling our leg, but just in case we start seeing sea life casualties in biblical proportions (the sea running red in color was just a metaphor for massive death of sea life), Imma preparing a written and notarized confession of my sins and shortcomings. Maybe, you should too.

Michael Bathurst v1.0

Location: Ontario, Canada
Bio: Starbucks Barista
Web: http://www.myspace.com/readenergyhealer
Category: Happy Person

#FF Starbucks couldn’t pay someone to give this much love to the morning crowd. @michaelbathurst +1 is a one of a kind barista of joy.

#commentario

If you can get past the spam-tastic love that Michael shovels with fanatic enthusiasm, you’ll catch a glimpse now and then. A glimpse of emptiness.

And that’s a pity.

You’re not alone, Michael.

You know @bpTerry was just busting your balls about how the spill is all your fault. But he did it on a dare from Big Bobby Sue. Anyway, everyone knows that you didn’t start the spill.

Come on back to the rig. We need all hands on deck!

MARCOME v1.0

Location: Vero Beach, Florida
Bio: Singer, Songwriter, and Musician
Web: http://marcome.com
Category: Music

#FF Another Huffington favorite, @marcome’s world music and new age spirituality heals, enchants and inspires. That’s what we’ve been told.

#commentario

Marcome even has a Twitter song. It’s.. eh. If you like Enya, you’ll like Marcome.

I liked Our Life’s Purpose. The video. Voice. Sound scape.

It’s the kind of song we could play at the dolphin funeral. What do you think, @bpTerry?

Anna v1.0

Location: Princeton, New Jersey
Bio: Being a teenage girl
Web: http://annasangle.wordpress.com
Category: Kiddo, Art and Photography

#FF This is not the Princess Diaries. Phwew! @aivzdog +1 is a fan of Marcome. And that’s why she’s here. Because I had to find one fan. 

Anna is a good girl. I’d like to encourage her to not think about dolphins - especially dead ones. Or dolphins that are sick to their stomach because it is full of oil.

One day Anna will grow up. She’ll find herself in a broken, dog eat dog world where clean water and bread will cost as much as wages for a day of professional work.

@bpTerry is real sorry about that.

@bpTerry offers some advice to you as you grow up in these exciting times:

1. Learn how to aim, shoot and care for your gun. Preferably a shotgun and handgun. Join the NRA!
2. Never point a gun at someone unless your intention is to kill an evil doer.
3. Don’t hoard (aka stockpile). You can always ransack stores if the shit hits the fan.

And that’s all BP has to say to tomorrow’s future. Good luck to you, Anna.

Follow @hannibal666 to enlightenment!